I told you about the stupid questions I get asked when my friends and acquaintances hear about my move to South Africa. Everybody’s got a clear opinion on moving abroad. Especially on moving to Africa. You know how people are… they just have to share this opinion with me and let me know that my decision has its downsides. Actually, it was a pretty dumb decision, you know? Well, okay. Could we talk about the Americans and Trump instead when talking about dumbness? No? Okay, so here we go. Here are the most stupid questions people asked me so far.
Moving abroad to South Africa: The most stupid questions
When are you coming back?«
I know, I know this questions is not asked with bad intentions. Anyhow, it’s a stupid question, because: it implies me failing in being able to settle down in South Africa and build a live there. This questions implies: Kathi, it’s just a phase. It’s just an idée fixe. You will realize in time. You will miss Germany, our social system, our pension system, our 9to5 and our high speed internet. You will come back – and you will do it sooner than later.
»Wh do you want to work in such a bad paid job?«
Call me crazy, but money doesn’t rule my world. I am no top-earner as a journalist anyways so it’s not that bad to work for a South African salary. They say you can’t have it all and at least I have the ocean. And the mountain views. That’s what I want. Period.
»Are you not afraid of being robbed?«
Well, congratulations! You googled and read about the high crime rates in big South African cities. 300 deaths just because of gang-related crime in one year! Robbery! Burglery! Hijacking! Am I afraid? No, I’m not. First, because I am no gang member. Second, because I don’t walk in shady areas alone at night. I don’t even do that at home. No, I am not more afraid than in Germany where people get raped and robbed and shot as well.
»Can we still skype then?«
Nooooo…sorry. I can send some smoke signals like the Indians, okay? Oh, no wait, I’m in Africa. They prefere the talking drums. So you better prick your ears. Or if you prefer, I could also throw a message in a bottle into the Atlantic ocean? And just after that I’m gonna eat a nice vegan quinoa wrap at Kauai, buy a Frappuccino and do some shopping and H&M to be perfectly dressed for Robin Schulz whose playing in the coolest club in town tonight.
»Are you going to live in a shack?«
Ja, sure, like all South Africans. Especially the ones that are renting out villas to tourists. Let me tell you something: it’s disrespectful to assume that South Africa is full of uneducated bush men living in shacks. And it’s even more disrespectful to talk about such things without considering Apartheit and why so many people in South Africa are still living that way.
»Don’t you have a bad conscience leaving your family like that?«
Ouch! That one hurt! And it’s just unnecessary to ask me such a question, because: Of course I’ve got a bad conscience. Hello, my family needs me. We are far from being the Waltons. My mum needs help in everyday live. My brother’s engaged and getting married next year. I don’t know if I will be there. My horse will stay in Germany and I won’t meet the friend I share it with anymore. I am gonna miss them and I feel bad. But do you have to rub salt in my wounds?
»Don’t you mind that there are so many… black persons?«
Yep, I saved the best for last! This is the most rassist and ingorant questions I’ve heard in a while. I didn’t even know what to answer. If I do mind? Why? Because black people are criminals? Because black people are rapist? Because black people are robbers? Let me ask my (black) friend Chris, what he thinks about that. Let me ask him, if he wants to steal my three year old Samsung to trade it for his brand new iPhone. Let me ask him, if he forced his Dutch girlfriend to be with him. Let me ask him if his job at amazon is just a cover up for his criminal activities… Wake up, it’s 2016!