Lately, I read more newspapers then ever before. I take in all the information I can get and I discuss it with my friends and with my colleagues. Where are why heading? What’s going on in the world?
But I don’t talk about it on my blog. Not because I’m not interested in politics and world economics (I studies economics in the first place), but because I think it’s just not appropriate. This is my blog, I talk to you about my travels and sometimes about the guys I meet. And sometimes I wonder: Why are you talking about guys again?
Why not talk about something serious?
Yep, I have to admit that sometimes, I feel bad when I just write about me struggeling to get my visa or having a bad date. It gives me a bad conscience sometimes to not talk about the things that are really important right now: the refugees still coming to Europe, the Brexit, Donald Trump, the AfD. Even my new home South Africa would offer me enough important issues to write about. And me? I’m writing about penguins and Table Mountain instead.
It’s not that I don’t want to be political. I am political. I’ve got my opinion and I’m proud of it. But I don’t want to be policital here on my blog. I don’t like having to discuss politics because everybody’s doing it now. I can’t stand watching the news on TV anymore. I can’t stand reading about the next terror attack anymore. I can’t stand the feeling of slowly feeling afraid.
Yes, I am slowly feeling afraid.
I ask myself: Should you cancel your flight via Istanbul? Should you book another one with another airline? I wonder: Should I still visit this festival? This open-air-party? Is it dangerous? And this thoughts leave my angry and anxious, because just some weeks ago I was pretty sure these things happening could not frighten me. And now I know: They can. And they do.
But it’s more than that. I can’t stand all these dead people and all the suffering anymore. I can’t stand the thoughts of destroyed lives and families torn apart anymore. I don’t switch off the TV – but sometimes I switch off my feelings.
I’m thankful for my family being united. I’m thankful for my friends being just one phone call away. I’m thankful for being healthy and free and able to do anything I want. Currently, I don’t forget being thankful for even one second.
I am political. I want to be political.
But sometimes I just can’t.